I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

Here's something you should know about me...You can insult me whatever. As long as you say it to my face that is! But if you EVER insult one of my girls, you'll be praying for death!

Story Time!!!
So it was time for the Wildcat Water Polo Tournament in Orlando. This tournament has been described as a dog-show for all the pure-breeds (Bitch show pretty much). But, not being I starter all I cared about was the fun trip I got to take with my girls! Michelle being the sweetheart she is made us all friendship bracelets <3! She, Abby, Hannah, and I all shared a room and of course Chelsea practically lived there too (Sadly she was with Taylor and Elina b/c no one else was willing.)

We spent all night doing what any fun-loving insane person in a hotel does...jump from bed to bed blasting the music, completely ignoring the fact that we had the most difficult games of the season the next day.

The next morning we lost and of course our lovely Captains and Starters were graceful about it by tearing into each other especially poor Chelsea the youngest starter. Now shes a strong person, but by being brutalized by  all the older girls she broke down.

As the girls and I went to comfort her Sinead and her sidekick Marie came up.
Sinead: "Chelsea get over it!"
Me: "Fuck off! Get over being older than her and not a starter!"

Normally she would have reported me to Gary, but she understood the teams caste system. As a starter, Chelsea out ranked her. Now don't get me wrong 9/10 times she's a sweetheart but every girl gets to use PMS as an excuse at least once.

To help unwind, we went to Unos and got a giant cookie cake that we all battled for it! I mean literally Hannah pinned my arms down. Chelsea was thankful for my intervention, but she paid me back the very next tournament.

Another Story Time!!!
The Ransom Tournament is just as difficult (same teams), but is i n the Miami sun, which was close enough to not make it a trip! Even in the water we were getting heat stroke! My girls and i didn't even leave to get lunch b/c our beloved captains told us we couldn't...right before they left for lunch. We had cupcakes from the snackbar, which normally would be awesome.

The last of our  games ended about 4:30 5 ish. It was a rough day. We lost two brutal games(Chelsea had two bloody noses)! Finally, it seemed we were going home just in time to miss rush hour! But of course we had to have our post-game talk. Gary is a talkative emo...he was so depressed. He repeated the same things over and over for an hour so Hannah, Michelle, and I kept ourselves entertained...

Han: "Okay so we're going to slip some prozac into his drink!"
Me: "Michi, you're going to fake a seizure and the rest of us will go get 'help'"

Finally, he ended and our Assistant Coach Mike talked shortly about stats. Have I told you about him? No! He's the best coach I ever had. Hes how I got so much better in Club! His resume is insane:
International Referee (really rare)
Degree in Water Polo from Moscow University
Russian (need I say more?)
Father of Elina

So he finishes and I get up to leave when Elina starts talking or should I say ranting? "I WORK SO HARD! I GET BACK ON DEFENSE! I SHOOT! I SCORE!" To which I whispered "Congratulations Ms. America now take your crown and get off the stage!" To which Elina replied "What was that Victoria?"

My heart stopped and all I could think was "OH FUCK ME!" Then she repeated "What was that Victoria? You've been commenting this whole time!" Suddenly Super Chelsea (cape and everything) flew in "She's asking Hannah for a mento!"

Elina: "Why weren't you listening?"
Me in my head: "B/c I don't even play!"
Elina: "Why did you need a mento right now?"
Me in my head: "I didn't get any lunch!"

My actual responses were just shrugs. Finally we were allowed to leave on the now two hour journey home thanks to rush hour!

Need a break from all this bitchy-ness? I do!!!

With all this drama in the pool, I sought safety in school by hanging with mostly guys and my h20 polo hoes ;). I thought a group of mostly guys doesn't have drama! Dear God I was wrong, but for years it worked amazingly. Most of them were from the Marine Bio Club. First was Max Popa, who although everyone always thought he would shoot up the school, he was a really great confidant especially to Hannah and I. He was our big brother, he looked out for us and with our blonde hair, big mouths, and teenage hormones we really needed that. Waidele was similar in how outsiders thought of him and to be honest he could kinda be a creeper sometimes, but to me he was just a guy with a good hugs with keys around his neck. I knew Devin since middle school and we were sorta kinda dating. You know the middle school way where you hold hands in the hallway and thats all type deal. It wasn't like he was ugly and he was nice, but he just didn't give me that cant eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series feeling that I desired and later found in someone else. Devin came with a hot side-kick named Tucker. Well, at least hotter than what the group was used to. Personally I just liked his smell! And finally Mauricio. He was the sweetest most laid back and anti-conflict guy I had ever met. I had a big crush on him the previous year and showed my feelings the only way I knew how...by beating the crap out of him, but somehow he was still my friend. And in that order they flocked to the Marine Bio room everyday after school. More would come eventually, but with more people there were more problems.

Story Time!!!
The Life of a Hobo

So during one Marine Bio beach clean-up, while cleaning behind a wall with trees on one side and a concrete sidewalk we discovered the life story of one hobo.

First, we found the broken condom.My first thought was dude you're a beast. My second thought was dude why would you have sex in the trees or on the concrete? I mean there's freaky and there's just uncomfortable.

Next, we found the baby food. Okay so my Catholic school never taught us anything about parenthood, but I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be bringing a baby to the beach.

Then, the diaper. Who the hell teeters a baby on a three foot concrete wall to change it? And then continues this crime against nature by tossing the nasty diaper into the trees.

Then, he had kind of a Jesus thing going on. Some lost years where little is known, but by the amount of cigarette butts we found I guessed he was a smoker.

Finally, we found his home in the trees and because it was obviously totally safe we went into it. I must admit he had a great view, but the lack of wall space was a deal breaker for me. So we walked off all cool like into the sunset while Tucker and Devin tried to convince to play Ultimate Frisbee...yes we were nerds.

Question??? Why are girls so catty? Meow.

So why were we a clique? Well to understand that you have to understand our team. You see there's this tradition (that I later broke) where when you give a girl a C on her suit (for captain), and she pretty much thinks that she's been handed a crown and scepter. Elina and Taylor were no different. Elina I could respect, mostly because I know if she wanted to (and sometimes she did), she could kick my ass. Taylor, on the other hand, just kissed a lot of ass. That ass belonged to Coach Gary, a man small in stature as well as balls. He was bullied by Taylor just like he was whipped at home by his wife and daughter.

Story Time!!!
So its a normal practice, swim until you just want to sit at the bottom and wait to drown, somehow being partnered with Elina because I'm small and easy to push under the water for drills, and then finally splitting up and shooting on one of the goals. So all my girls were at the same goal when Taylor told Abby to leave. I stopped her and asked why she had to leave, she was even the first person (God knows how) to get to the goal. So Taylor bitches, "Well I was the first one in the pool!", to which I ever so politely replied, "Congratulations."

I didn't think that much of it until Gary pulled me aside for a little private meeting where Taylor had on a very smug face. I barely heard what Gary was saying because I kept imagining smacking that look off her face. What I did catch, however; was that he wasn't going to stand for disobedience to the Captains and that he wasn't happy about the "clique" I formed. Apparently there was a major clique war last year...(maybe thats why nobody saved me when I was drowning that whole time?) and he wasn't about to let it happen again.

Newsflash to Gary, when you have Captains that force all the underclassmen to sleep downstairs, while they have a party upstairs and the fact that we're all girls guarantees a "clique war" and thats exactly what happened.

Question???
Why are girls so catty?

Answer!!!
Boys. While men all have the bros before hoes code, girls fight each other for a dick whose playing them both. So listen up ladies! Sisters before misters! This will become even more important next season.